Feel your feelings and feel the benefits
We all have feelings. But did you know that you can become more emotionally intelligent by acknowledging how you feel and sharing them with those you trust? As Bupa Mental Health Specialist Emily Meates explains, there are plenty of reasons to feel the feels.
Opening up about our emotions gives us helpful information and helps grow the connection between our environments and ourselves. We know that young children are still developing the skills they need to be able to identify emotions, so it’s important they talk to someone they trust who can help them.
By talking about feelings, children then get an understanding about what they’re experiencing. It helps them practice how to regulate and process their feelings in a way that promotes healthy development. The more we become more aware of the broad variety of our emotions and talk about them, the more emotionally intelligent we can become.
Without listening to how we’re feeling, emotions can affect how we behave without us realising.
The benefits to befriending your feelings.
Our feelings are there for a reason, so giving yourself time and space to experience them is powerful. Processing feelings in a healthy way gives us an opportunity to make positive changes within our environment, it also helps us better problem solve, understand ourselves, improve relationships and lower our stress levels.
Multiple feelings are normal – even if they’re conflicting.
Life isn’t black and white, and experiencing uncertainty is a part of human nature. We go through many different experiences resulting in conflicting feelings, sometimes they exist at the same time. When we can acknowledge and accept this, we don’t spend as much time and energy trying to work out which is the “right” emotion to have. That lets us focus on finding how best to navigate these complex experiences.
Big feelings and how to work with them.
Big emotions can be overwhelming and when they come up it’s often an indicator our sympathetic nervous system has been activated. This is the system that’s important for our survival in the face of threats, but it doesn’t help us to rationally think through challenges.
Quick tips to manage the big ‘feels’
- Take some deep breaths or engage in things that help us to feel relaxed or grounded. That way you might feel like you return to a place where we can think clearly about your feelings and remind yourself that they’re there for a reason.
- Talk openly about your feelings with those you trust. When we talk about how we’re feeling, it helps us to connect with people that matter and allows us to share validation of our emotions while better equipping us to support those around us.
- Practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself as you navigate big feelings. Sometimes it can take time to work through challenging emotions.
- If conflicting or big feelings are impacting your ability to engage in the things you enjoy – reaching out for support is the best way to help process these feelings and make good choices to support ourselves as best as possible.
