One dad's crusade to support new parents
When Carter was diagnosed with postnatal depression, he had no idea men could get it.
“Your room may be dark but there are plenty of others in there with you.”
When Matthew Carter became a dad, he admits it was a lot to cope with.
After struggling and being diagnosed with postnatal depression, his first reaction was – “I didn’t know this was something that could happen to men.”
As PANDA ambassador, Carter, shares his story in the hope more people like him don’t suffer in silence.
I was really scared to become a dad. But meeting the love of my life, and seeing her dreams of being a mother, along with her support and confidence in me encouraged me to want to become a dad,” Carter said.
All three of my children’s births were traumatic for my wife and I, and my anxieties and fears of failure overwhelmed me after the births of my first two children. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and, until then, had no idea it could happen to men.
I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and, until then, had no idea it could happen to men.
My wife was an absolute rock throughout it all and luckily, we were able to find some light in the darkness in each other.
I started seeing a clinical psychologist through my employer. I’m such an advocate for not only therapy but finding the right therapist for you.
I was more recently diagnosed with ADHD and autism. I then went through a period of grief and mourning before staring to heal, educate and find the right supports.
I’m confident in saying I’m now on the other side and beginning to thrive as a neurodivergent father, husband and human.
My advice to other parents would be:
- Talk it out!
- Fill your bucket with love and be around people who bring you up, not pull you down.
- Don't be afraid to walk away from relationships or friendships that leave you feeling drained.
- Find like-minded communities online to workshop your emotion.
- Get professional support. Don't be afraid to reach out to therapists to find out a bit about them before requesting a referral through your GP.
- Most important of all, be kind to yourself. Take comfort in knowing you aren't alone and if you feel like you have no support, contact PANDA or any of the other incredible and necessary resources available to you.
Bupa members also have access to our Parent and wellbeing program, delivering mental health support for new parents and parents-to-be. It’s designed to support anyone having trouble adjusting to pregnancy and parenthood, including feeling low, anxiety and other mental health challenges during this time.
